We live in a culture of aversion to commitment. People want
to dabble in things, especially relationships, without committing. Such
unwillingness to commit is a primary cause of the widespread breakdown of
marriages in contemporary society.
Unfortunately, our aversion to commitment may get aggravated
on the spiritual path if we conflate it with detachment. Detachment means
becoming indifferent to the mind’s schemes for material indulgence. Such
indifference comes from realizing that worldly things never live up to their
promise of pleasure.
In contrast, aversion to commitment comes from our desire to
stay open to the mind’s many schemes. We still believe that material things
will provide pleasure – we are just unsure which of the mind’s schemes will
provide the most pleasure. As sticking to one option often implies losing the
other options, we refuse to commit to anything.
Pertinently, the Bhagavad-gita (18.08) cautions that
renunciation adopted because of the fear of discomfort is renunciation in the
mode of passion. In our context, the discomfort is the price of committing to
any one option. The same Gita verse cautions that such renunciation doesn’t
bear fruit – it doesn’t lead to purification or liberation, the purposes of
spiritual growth.
To help us purify the mind, the Gita recommends bhakti-yoga.
This yoga of love requires commitment – commitment to the devotional practices
that bring us closer to all-pure Krishna. This proximity calms and clears the
mind, thereby enabling us to develop detachment. Therein, we give up the
attachments that hold us back and take up the commitments that bring out our
best.
To summarize, detachment means closing the door to the
mind’s proposals, whereas aversion to commitment means keeping all the doors
open. Detachment is a virtue that helps us turn away from matter towards
spirit, whereas aversion to commitment is a weakness that keeps us locked in
matter.
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